Imagine how much more effective your sales people could be if they had an objective, analytical coach whispering in their ear during a sales call. The coach would tell them what they're doing well and what they should change. The coach would, above all, keep them from getting emotionally bound up in the sale they're hoping to make. They could critically and objectively assess the interactions between them and buyers.

The reality is that if they imagine they have a coach watching them, it will be much easier to remain "third party," watching what goes on during the sales call. The following are ways to help remain objective during sales calls.

Recognize that all buyers are human, acting out psychological "scripts" reflecting their needs, desires, biases, and defense mechanisms. The very best salespeople are amateur psychologists. They understand that everything a buyer says or does is a reflection of scripts they carry in their heads. These scripts reflect various degrees of psychological maturity. Buyers are prisoners to their scripts. Therefore, there is no reason to be upset by their "readings."

Take a close look at your own psychological maturity. Do you whine, complain, and manipulate like a child? Do you control, smother, nurture, and criticize like a parent? Or do you behave like a composed, confident adult? The very best salespeople have egos and personas that reflect more of the nurturing parent and the adult than the critical parent or child. The time you spend in the adult emotional state is when you can observe what happens during your sales call from a dispassionate viewpoint.

Probe, probe, probe. Respond to buyer statements with probing questions. This increases your ability to remain "third-party" because:

• The buyer does most of the talking.

• You can listen, think, and reflect during the answers.

• The buyer's underlying pain will eventually emerge.

• You can identify the buyer's logic and reasoning.

Listen with your eyes and inner ear. Buyers will always tell you how they feel about you, your company, and the products. But they may not tell you directly. Instead, they will convey their true feelings through tone of voice, body movement, and composure. Tune in to these subtle clues.

When attacked, respond from your head, not your gut. If the buyer is manipulative, sarcastic, and aggressive, do not respond in kind. Take a deep breath, exhale slowly, and ask this question: "Can you please tell me what happened to make you feel this way?"

Talk about your feelings; don't bury them. You and the buyer are engaged in a psychological drama where each is trying to maintain security and control. If you feel manipulated, stressed, or uncomfortable, bring it out in the open. If you think the buyer is feeling pressured, bring that out in the open. After clearing the air you can move toward closing the sale.

Get into the buyer's shoes. Reverse your perspective. What might the buyer be feeling and why? What emotions is the buyer revealing? If you were the buyer and had to deal with a salesperson like you, how would you feel? Empathize with these feelings.

Listen to your "coach." Listen to your inner voice of reason and objectivity -- your coach. Your coach wants you to make the sale, and doesn't want you to waste time and energy protecting your ego. Listen empathetically to the buyer and respond non-defensively.

Disengage. Imagine there is a third person in the room observing this interaction in silence. When the going gets tough for you, become that third person. In your detached state, ask yourself what you are seeing and hearing. What advice would you give to the salesperson (you)?

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